December, 2020 - zewd.net

My boss doesn’t see me! So open his eyes

Do you sometimes get the feeling that your boss is in another sphere? Does he design, make strategic contacts, hang around in meetings all day and discuss things with his own kind? And you stay by the wayside! He hardly has any time for you and does not see your performance. You lack recognition and you would be happy if you could see your boss more often to clarify important questions. He’s also supposed to make sure that you take the next step in your career at some point. But what if he doesn’t even have you on his screen? Now you can whine and continue to wonder about your manager’s blindness. Or you can become active yourself. In this case, I have some ideas for you on how to open the eyes of your boss (or your boss) again.

Wait a minute! Who is the boss here?

“I beg your pardon?! Open my boss’s eyes? – I’m definitely not getting paid for that!”- Or what is going through your head at this moment?

If you think and feel this way, then you may be caught in the victim trap: “I’m just the little employee and I have nothing to report anyway. An unimportant cog in the big gear. I’m just supposed to follow instructions. Any criticism would be pointless and if so, then I am considered cheeky or uncomfortable and in the end, I get a warning from the bad boss for my rebellion. ”

Yes, if you feel too hot to change something about this state of affairs, then let it go, carry on as before, somehow deal with your blind boss. Or (Attention, fun mode!) You follow the popular recipes for boss blindness and dress more conspicuously, simply load your work on his desk without being asked and stubbornly bombard him with appointment requests that he can not do otherwise than you finally notice. When you are really annoying to him, then he has to pay attention to you.

If this is not an alternative for you, if you are otherwise happy with your job and therefore do not want to go looking for a new boss, then you should stop hoping for sudden clairvoyance from your boss and instead take action yourself will be.

And you? – Open your own eyes first

Before you tear the blindfold off your boss, you should first take a closer look at yourself. If you have already followed my contributions to fellow pigs, mind readers, and relationship killers on the job, then you have probably noticed that I think it is important to first touch your own nose when dealing with interpersonal conflicts. I often experience that the behavior of their bosses condemned by employees is a mirror or a reaction to their own behavior. How is it with you? Do you have any idea what your part (could have been) in making your boss behave as you perceive him to be today?

The following questions can also help you to see more clearly yourself in this situation: Why do you think that your boss does not see you? How do you actually determine this today and is it really true? How does it compare to your colleagues? Has your boss paid more attention to you in the past and if so, did you behave differently during this time?

And you should also question this critically: Why is it so important to you that your boss has you more in focus? I know employees who would be very happy if they were left alone more. Why are you bothered by the apparent blindness of your manager? Which of your values is this violated? Is recognition or appreciation extremely important to you and that is neglected today? Or is it about promotion, competition with colleagues or status? Or would you like a boss to be a role model from whom you would like to learn a lot? So: What is really behind your wish that your boss should finally keep an eye on you again?

Two people, two perspectives

Your boss is the boss because he has different topics in his sights than you. Even if you and your boss are ideally pursuing identical corporate goals, you work on them at different levels. You are busier with the operational business, but your boss should have the big picture in mind.

It is quite normal and also right for you and your boss to look from different perspectives not only on topics but also on the respective environment in the company. Imagine your glasses are green and your boss ones are red. They see the same thing but perceive it differently. You may even see important red things that your boss cannot see through his red glasses, but he sees the green ones that remain hidden from you.

It is possible that your boss is not as blind as you think and is very aware of you. However, there may be other things that he can see more clearly through his glasses. Especially when your boss has a lot of employees and you are one of his best horses in the stable, he will focus more on those of your colleagues who he has to lead more closely. I’m not saying this is good leadership behavior, but it could explain your perception.

My tip: Try to change your perspective and think about which “glasses” your boss wears in certain situations and what or who he sees as a result – and also has to see so that he does a good job himself. Before you label your boss as a “blind cow” and condemn his behavior towards you, ask yourself the question: Why does he/she behave like this, and could it even be that this behavior also has something positive for you?

Leadership is not a one-way street

No question about it, the word “personnel responsibility” implies responsibility. Your boss is responsible and has the task of leading you well, motivating you, and taking care of your health in the workplace. He should give the direction and tell you what to do (how) and when. He relies on you to complete assigned tasks or give results back to him at an agreed time.

Today I sometimes have the impression that the bosses’ “responsibility” means that the individual employees no longer take responsibility themselves. Because they are used to the fact that their bosses do everything for them in an emergency, it means an effort for them or because they simply do not see it in their current work situation to take responsibility themselves. Even if you don’t want to hear that as an employee, leadership actually becomes a one-way street.

I believe that, as in a modern, equal partnership, both sides are responsible for providing a framework and a working atmosphere in which they can do a good job they are fine. And so, as an employee, you can and should tell your boss if something bothers you, if you see things differently through your “glasses” or if you have questions because you do not understand the purpose of a task or the overarching goal. And if it is important to you that your boss keeps a professional eye on you, then he or she will be very grateful for this tip too.

5 ideas so that your boss can keep an eye on you again:

Talk to your boss about it

You may know by now that I am a friend of clarity. Do you know why it is important to you that your boss has a closer look at you and your work, then ask him for an appointment and discuss the topic in private? Be careful not to end up in blame-justification ping-pong. Explain your point of view and perception and say what you specifically want for the future. This allows your boss to reflect on his behavior, explain the view through his “glasses” and decide how to deal with your concerns. At the end of the conversation, it should be clear to both sides whether and what will change in future cooperation.

Show real interest in current topics

If you are actually happy if you can just do a good job quietly throughout the day, but still want your boss to see the good performance more, then this could be one way. Participate more actively and show real interest in topics to the right and left of your area of responsibility. This can be at lunch with the whole team or at regular team meetings. It’s not about becoming the clown on the team or the jack-of-all-trades in every hallway. It’s about your generally stronger presence. From my point of view, this is primarily a question of one’s own attitude as an extra- or introverted disposition.

Suggest tasks to your boss that you would like to take on

Perhaps your daily job today consists largely of routine tasks, which you also do excellently. Your boss knows this and is happy that he can rely on you and can concentrate on other construction sites with peace of mind. If you feel like livening up work-life yourself, keep your eyes open for topics and tasks that you find exciting and that you think you can do, and that you really want to do. Propose your idea to your boss. It will be important to many bosses that your previous activities are not neglected. You should think about an answer to this question beforehand and take this worry away from your boss.

Find out what the team values you for

Do you have a certain role in the team today or are you just one of many? Is there anything you can do better than your colleagues? What are you valued for in the team today? Can you think of anything? If so, then this can also be a good starting point to bring the boss back into focus again. Pay attention to situations in which these strengths or functions are particularly useful in the team – and use them consciously. Maybe your boss is just looking at the entire team – he shouldn’t! – but this way you have the chance to be perceived as an important part of his team.

Use your personal strengths for your career

I recently read somewhere (can’t find it anymore): “You have to push a career yourself”. Certainly, there is a spark of truth in this, and that closes the circle that you too are the boss of your (work) life and that you have the power to change something.

I experience a lot of employees who are not deployed according to their true strengths and thus also cannot reach their full potential. If that also applies to you and you may only be working on the back burner today, then it is no wonder if you make yourself small and so are not the focus of your boss. Focus more on your real strengths again and work actively and (self) consciously on your career, which you believe will lead you in the right direction over the next few years. This is sure to catch your boss’s eye.

Would you like to open your boss’s eyes?

Of course, not all bosses are as blind and bad managers as I have portrayed them in this article, in some cases greatly exaggerated. And certainly, many employees interpret and dramatize the behavior of their bosses a lot.

But whatever the “truth” looks like, I would like to give you, as an employee, the impulse not to helplessly accept bad relationships with your boss or what you see as insufficient leadership. You have a bigger part in creating a positive collaboration with your manager than you might think today.

Also: Many bosses are very grateful when their employees approach them and give them constructive feedback on their behavior. Because we all know that there are situations in life in which we are blind in both eyes and it is good when someone honestly but respectfully opens our eyes.

Friend or foe? 10 behaviors that will betray your boss

How do you see your boss – as a friend or an enemy? Is he on your side or are you already on his internal hit list? Is it just about his team performing well and pocketing the medals or is he promoting your professional and personal development? Bosses tick very differently: from the authoritarian block of ice to the boss on a cozy course to the sandwich manager and flags in the wind. Is your boss good, does he embody a modern leadership attitude, and is your professional relationship right? Here are 10 of your manager’s behaviors that will help you identify them. Vote at the Chef-Check and see how other readers rated their bosses.

What employees want from their bosses today

If you belong to the young generation of employees or young professionals, then recognition and appreciation are probably very important to you. You are in the mood for top performance and can really hang out if the challenge is fun and you can identify with what you are doing. Power games are alien to you and you could do without the bonus payment for Christmas. But you want to earn individual appreciation for good performance. The boss should see what you are doing, be a role model and encourage you individually in your personal and professional development.

As an experienced professional, you have already gotten to know different bosses and their leadership styles for a few years. You no longer need power-obsessed know-it-all bosses who have to prove themselves to you, instead you want sparring partners who are to be taken seriously at eye level. Whether your manager is 30, the same age, or older than you, does not matter for a good working relationship. The main thing is that she/he leads well! – at least that’s what I hear from most middle-aged job changers.

Regardless of whether they are just starting in their careers or experienced professionals, today’s bosses are expected to be interested in their employees and their opinions, to be personal companions and a clever sparring partner. You should be loyal and predictable, make decisions, and set a good role model both professionally and personally. They should provide support and orientation in an environment that is increasingly characterized by uncertainty, complexity, and speed. They should show their employees the direction and at the same time keep their backs free so that they can do their work. The result instead of presence is the motto because most employees nowadays prefer to be guided in a goal-oriented rather than task-oriented manner.

10 behaviors that characterize good bosses today

Here are 10 behaviors of bosses concerning you as an employee that express modern leadership. Which of these applies to your manager?

If you see a lot of these behaviors in your boss, then you will likely make a good team today. If you could only agree with a few or even none of the statements: Don’t panic! It doesn’t have to mean that your boss is dead or not by you.

Even if these 10 behaviors sound self-evident, it is a very modern attitude as a manager, in which the old-school bosses, who are still authoritarian or patriarchal, have often not yet arrived. Even if it sounds absurd to you at this moment: Then give your manager a little help. After all, leadership is not a one-way street!

Get out of the victim role: get your boss on track!

As an employee, you too have many opportunities to shape the behavior of your manager and the cooperation as a good team. What you can do if your boss has too little focus on you, I wrote about that recently. Bosses have no training in mind reading, so say what is important to you in your job and for good cooperation. Tell them what concerns you when it comes to leadership and what you need and expect from your employer to be motivated and do a really good job.

Because that is exactly why you are there and receive a monthly salary – unless you are really on the hit list and are nothing more than an unpleasant cost item. But then you should see that you are gaining land and giving your boss the cold shoulder as well. Because working time is lifetime and painful perseverance for CV hygiene is yesterday’s career thinking.

If you are dissatisfied with the leadership skills of your boss and it is important to you that the cooperation is on a good footing, then you actively seek the conversation. Important: Make sure that he does not take your feedback as a charge or accusation. Do not talk about their supposed misconduct, but above all about yourself: Describe the observations you have made, how you perceive the behavior, how it affects you, and what you would like to see instead. Explain the background to your feedback and why it is so important to you. Because in this way you allow your manager to understand your perspective and to classify it correctly.

Boss remains boss. Of course, he or she has the right to decide what your feedback means for their own thoughts and actions. But even if nothing changes in the desired direction afterward, you have also become active as your own boss of life. In the vast majority of cases, this is the better alternative compared to passive perseverance.

Friend or foe: your boss’s perspective decides!

What is your own attitude towards your manager? Do you see him or her as a friendly supporter or as a hostile threat? Does the fear overwhelm you when your boss walks past your office in the hallway? Or are you happy that he is seeking contact with his employees? Do you team up with your colleagues against him or do you pull together as a good team with common goals?

Sometimes it seems to me today that bosses per se are turned into bogeymen by their role and the tasks associated with them. The belief quickly becomes established: bosses are bad and the natural enemy of every employee. Because they are personally to blame for too much work, too high demands and they shamelessly use the power to influence their sheep. Yes, it is that easy to declare your boss to be a personal enemy. But is that really true or aren’t you just looking for a stupid culprit among your frustrated colleagues?

Suppose your boss is not your enemy but your colleague and friend. So just as purely hypothetical. How could he or she support you in your daily work? As a good team, what could you learn from each other? In which specific situations could your new “friend” be useful to you?

Just try it out in the next few days. If you see your boss more as an enemy, then consciously banish this familiar image from your head and see him or your boss once more through the uncolored and friendly glasses. If your manager does not actually belong to the very rare species “bullies” or “fellow workers”, you will be amazed at the different light in which you suddenly see certain behaviors and, above all, the new opportunities this opens up for you in your daily work.

In the end, it is of course your own decision whether you work against your boss or with him and thus benefit from his experience and knowledge. Because whether your boss is a friend or an enemy, you too have a great influence on your thoughts and actions.

Misses on your resume? Your attitude as an applicant is decisive!

Are you one of those applicants or employees who are ashamed of certain “missteps” on their résumé? Many applicants warn me about their résumé before sending it to me in advance of a coaching session. Yes, and rightly so! Because anyone who has not at least passed a 1.0 high school diploma, has been promoted from clerk to manager in 5 years is really a damn hard case. And to blame for it are those stupid missteps, for which you must be really, but also really! ashamed, if they also deface your resume. And because I have such a good heart, at the end of this article I will tell you how you as an applicant can still make it into your new job successfully.

For those of you who have not noticed it or are here for the first time: Warning, this text may contain traces of irony!

8 missteps that really spoil every resume:

You wasted a ton of time raising children

How could you look after your children! Don’t you know that, especially as a woman, you can only have a career today if you give your children all-day care right after they are born? Child or Career – that has always been the case and will never change with a women’s quota or stove bonus. In today’s fast-moving world, nobody can afford this downtime. Once you have been out of the job for 2 years, no one will take you after that! You have forgotten everything and no longer know what real work means. Do you have any idea how many software updates have taken place in that time ?! And with changing diapers, counting to 10, or reading stories, you have not exactly acquired skills during that time that you will ever need again at work later. I say yes, a waste of time!

You have changed employers far too often

Your résumé is four pages long and have you changed employers ten times in the last 25 years? Well, it is immediately clear that you won’t be able to take it anywhere for long. And then it doesn’t matter that you have been terminated seven times due to bankruptcy or takeovers. That’s your bad luck! Well, you have seen many bosses, repeatedly familiarized yourself with new topics, and even moved a few times for the job. But that’s worthless because after all you are left with nothing like every two years. So it’s best to find an employer who will shut down in two years so that at least that is a constant in your life!

You have been with an employer all your life

You have been there since your training. Next year you would have celebrated your 25th birthday and given a day of special leave. And now the resignation is on the table. Yes, if you can’t hire direct competition, you don’t stand a chance. Flexibility is required today and that doesn’t seem to apply to you when I look at your résumé. No employer today wants loyal and loyal employees. Not that you’re too comfortable at work. Whoever leaves will be replaced. It’s easy!

You studied the wrong thing or dropped out of your studies

How can you! To start something and then not finish it. Didn’t you know beforehand that this is not for you? You should have inquired better. And simply giving up doesn’t show perseverance. Even if you noticed that you couldn’t see any blood, you could have finished your medical degree so that you could at least have a degree under your belt. Breaking something off is a clear sign of weakness. Or you out there … how could you study ancient Greek and philosophy! Your parents always told you that you couldn’t score points in business. Once you have studied the wrong thing, you will only ever be a stooge for those who have chosen a proper degree or a prestigious education.

Don’t you have a high school diploma?

Your high school diploma from 1980 only shows a 2.2? You definitely have to cover this up when you apply for the next position! Because if you were such a lazy pig back then, nothing has changed until today. And anyway: employers now only select strictly according to grades, sometimes this even works automatically as soon as you have uploaded your certificates. If you are not among the best of the best in the world, there will always be another applicant in front of you and selected who has better grades. No chance. You should have thought of that as a teenager!

You are too far down the career ladder for your age

Excuse me – at 35 you are not a senior manager or at least an executive? Shame yourself! How could that happen? Take a look at the positions of your peers on XING and hold your job title against it. Yes, you are a total loser in this position and it doesn’t help if you actually love your current job and your colleagues, have the best boss in the world, and are happy with your salary. And as you know, by your late 30s, the career train has left for you anyway. From the age of 50 at the latest, as an applicant, you will never have chances on the job market again, unless you follow my tips here.

Your last employer has a bad image

Your employer had a major product recall last year? Or did he make the headlines because of mistakes in top management? – Yes, it is definitely not a pleasure to work for such a company. Everyone on the street is still staring at you about it today. And your family and friends are also wondering how this could happen. The fact that you actually process incoming invoices in accounting no longer matters. As an applicant, you will be associated with this scandal for the rest of your professional life. You have to put up with that for better or worse!

You can kind of do everything, but nothing really

You have already done so much in your life and you are simply interested in anything you can get your hands on. From programming language to composing music to distant countries and cultures. Well, I’m only an economist, so half a business and economist, but neither of them really. So I know what I’m talking about! Yes, such jack-of-all-trades and generalists will have an increasingly difficult time, because companies are now only looking for specialized specialists. If you don’t finally commit yourself to one area, you will get bigger and bigger problems when you have to explain what you can really do.

(irony mode off)

So is life? – It’s your life!

You probably smirked at some points, maybe you would have liked to contradict me loudly here and there. All eight examples come from reality and are not isolated cases in the applicant’s mind. Many are stuck in their shifted image on their own résumé. Perhaps it is also a form of self-sabotage to justify why the interview invitation just doesn’t work.

Why is it so hard to acknowledge: That’s life. – This is my life!

Are we not allowed to make wrong decisions in our life because we did not have better information at the time of the decision or simply believed it was a good way? Are we not allowed to take new paths that at first glance are not linear? Can’t situations arise in life that we did not expect and that turn our previously strictly planned résumé upside down? Shouldn’t a CV also have gaps, because changing jobs and looking for a suitable employer take time now?

Does this make us bad workers? Are we showing weaknesses that have no place in our society? As the boss of our own lives, are we not allowed to decide what is good for each of us? Do we have to align our course of life with undefined norms and “That’s not how it is done!” And do we actually have to justify deviations from them? Who actually thinks they know which is the ideal résumé for a particular job? And where do so many applicants get the certainty that they know exactly what they are doing wrong or that they will never have another chance on the job market?

As long as you are ashamed of your résumé, see yourself as a failure, or call yourself a “Failed Existence” title, you will not get even the blindest recruiter in the mood to take a serious interest in you. You radiate this attitude towards yourself – and that already in your cover letter.

Try to regain an appreciative attitude towards your (professional) life:

The fact that you dropped out of your studies at that time shows consistency and self-reflection. The fact that you have invested time in bringing up children or caring for relatives makes your personal values clear and you will have gained a lot of important experience in this phase as well. You cannot help that you have been given redundancy so often for operational reasons. If you have felt at home with a company for many years, congratulations! That you are not as advanced as your fellow students from before – so what? But you have experienced and learned other things. Versatility, flexibility, and a thirst for knowledge show that you are broadly interested as a generalist. Who wouldn’t want that?

Yes, I know that if you as an applicant have been searching for a long time and have had to take a lot of rejections, then your own doubts about your CV will get louder and louder. Many applicants come to me and want to know: “Is there something hidden in the CV that disqualifies me?” My answer is usually: “No” – even if there is always a little potential for optimization here and there.

What disqualifies many applicants, however, is their attitude towards themselves and their life. Would you hire someone ashamed of their résumé and secretly sees themselves as a hapless failure?

How to adopt a good demeanor as an applicant

This is neither about pink whitewash nor high acting. You will not change your posture while sleeping overnight. This is work on and occupation with yourself and it can be quite exhausting.

Take and give yourself the time. Go through your curriculum vitae and think about for each station what you have experienced, achieved, and experienced in your job and life as well.

Is there anything you are also proud of at this time?
What experiences from back then can you still use today?
What has contributed to your professional and personal development?
What small or large successes do you like to look back on?
What have you taken away from mistakes or personal strokes of fate for your life? How did you manage to overcome difficult times?

Think especially about those sections or points in time for which you were just ashamed, whether in retrospect you can see something good for your life from them. If you can’t think of anything, ask yourself whether this time from the past is even important today to do a good job tomorrow.

If you don’t get on with all of this, ask you’re good friends what they appreciate about you or let them rate your résumé “neutrally”. And then there should be coaches who don’t just change the font and typing errors in yours Correct your CV, but above all work on your attitude as an applicant.

Because success in the application is a matter of attitude.

Relationship killers: 10 tips for better relationships at work

After the fellow pigs and the mind readers, this is my third post on the subject of relationships in the job. Good relationships are the basis for working together successfully in a team. For me, good leadership means effective relationship management. We are not unemotional work machines that stubbornly work through processes according to scheme F, but people who interact with other people. But at work, it sometimes gives the impression that many bosses and also their employees are blind to the sheer focus on the matter when it comes to creating friendly, professional relationships. I looked at the 25 biggest relationship killers in private life and was amazed at how much they all apply to work life.

Relationships at Work | Workplace Relationship Policy | HR Solutions

25 private relationship killers that can also be transferred to the job

Skip others

This is a relationship killer, especially in strictly hierarchical companies. The employee who goes to the boss-boss, complains about his boss or wants to push through his interests there. The other direction is also known: the boss-boss, who approaches the employees directly and thus skips a management level. Think carefully about the cases in which it is important and right to skip a hierarchy level. Otherwise: Make it clear that and why you are going to do this in order not to damage the love triangle.

Selfishness

Anyone who only looks to their own advantage or who goes over dead bodies for their own career not only makes themselves unpopular with colleagues but also has a difficult position as a manager in the long term. Cooperation is taking and giving based on jointly defined goals. With their behavior, egoists risk being ridiculed, fought against, or even completely excluded.

Wrong expectations

From my experience working with managers, unclear expectations are one of the most common problem areas in cooperation: employees who do not know what their boss expects from them and, conversely, managers who do not see what their employees are for good leadership and who Need to get things done. Expectations should be clearly communicated in all directions. That makes working together much more relaxed.

Blackmail

Not the nice way. But all too often the following applies: “I know what I am not allowed to know and I have you in my hands.” Whether affairs, hushed up mistakes, or other secrets – what could harm your own career is not allowed to come to light. Those who use such information for their own benefit may quickly make it up the career ladder, but in the end, blackmailers often go online, fail because of their inadequate professional qualifications, and fall on their feet.

Lack of loyalty

The flag in the wind or the boss who does not provide any backing. Loyalty connects people. If it is missing for a long time, this often also means a break in the relationship. It is particularly important for managers to consciously pay attention to loyalty to their employees, but still position themselves well in their sandwich position. Because employees also derive justice from loyalty. In a group of colleagues, loyalty often means helpfulness and solidarity.

Stranger

Anyone who is looking for a new employer in an ongoing employment relationship and even conducts job interviews should not be caught. Before cheating, it is better to discuss what is bothering you with your current employer. Often there are many more adjustments than you think that making a change unnecessary. And if after such a conversation you secretly sniff a strange corporate air and it comes out, then it doesn’t hit your boss out of the blue.

Disrespectful behavior

Certain manners and rules of mutual respect also apply in the job. They don’t believe the stories I hear about filthy behavior in the workplace and read in personal emails from affected employees. Disrespect is behavior that does not take place on an equal footing and expresses: “I am better than you and you are worth nothing!” Respect and appreciation are the basic formula for good relationships – at work and, of course, in private.

A dispute over everyday issues

It’s annoying when you get back at home every three days to get a fight about who’s taking the trash, right? There are also tons of such everyday topics in everyday office life. Anyone who texts their colleagues or even the boss with it all the time has to reckon with the you-annoying-receipt at some point. Better clarify it once and agree on a rule that both can live with – and then it’s quiet.

Routine and boredom

If the butterflies in your stomach have evaporated in a fresh partnership, this is often the beginning of boredom. The same rituals every day – only together. Boredom at work, that’s what I wrote about here and it’s one of the most read and commented articles on the blog. Those who are bored leave. Employees and managers should discuss what they can do about boredom to keep the relationship fresh on the job.

Sit out problems

Depending on the company’s error culture, this is very popular. Sit out until problems vanish by themselves because they are no longer relevant or someone else has done it. That is neither collegial nor economical for the company. Here, too, clarity and the active search for solutions is the best solution in most cases.

Cover up errors

The main thing is that your own vest stays white. Sometimes I think employees spend more time covering up bugs than working on solutions. You construct watertight alibis and are a master in documenting long mail traffic as evidence. But if the boss finds out, the conflict threatens. And in many cases, this behavior is also a relationship killer with colleagues.

Jealousy

Particularly popular among female colleagues. “Why is Ms. Muller allowed to travel with the boss and I’m not?!” Jealousy in the partnership leads to control behavior and is – exaggerated – often the trigger for arguments. Even at work, both parties should consider objectively what the reasons for the jealousy are and clarify it.

Be resentful

If the boss tells his employee the mistake from a year ago every week, then at some point it gets annoying. Those who hold grudges hold back with their thoughts in the past, calculate up, and keep working on a topic that has obviously not yet been clarified. To look to the future with colleagues, you (both) should clarify the matter and decide to finally put it in the files.

Too much closeness or tightness

Anyone who hangs like a burdock on their partner’s skirt at home may also follow their employees or colleagues at every turn at work. Too much closeness in the job narrows. Many employees want a certain amount of leeway in thinking and acting. Together in the team and with the manager, determine how close you are and what leeway you need yourself to do a good job.

Lack of engagement

Anyone who sucks in front of the telly with a bottle of beer on the sofa every evening will at some point feel a headwind in the relationship. If you just sit back in your job, let others do it, and show no initiative of your own, you may be fed through in certain companies, but at some point, your colleagues here to get on the roof because of unjust behavior or the boss demands more performance.

Isolation or Distance

Most jobs live from the interaction of people. This will become even more important in the future. Those who keep isolating themselves from the group run the risk of not only losing touch concerning content but also of being no longer noticed by colleagues and managers. Those who isolate themselves no longer invest in cultivating relationships.

Blame

A perfectly developed discipline in many companies. And blame is often followed by justification. A ping pong game that not only regularly leaves thick air, but is also extremely unproductive. A good error culture, on the other hand, gets by without accusations and justifications.

Lack of recognition

How is it for you in a partnership when your loved one does not see what you are doing around the house and does not at least tell you from time to time how great you are? Lack of recognition in the job is the most common reason why employees show their boss the red card and leave. A relationship killer that is especially true at work, because self-realization and recognition were the most important values for a career in my study.

Break agreements

This is especially frustrating for employees. The boss, who promised them the raise in the last conversation, but now backs down and even blames it on the personnel manager. And the same applies to employees: if you often promise something to your superior but then cannot keep it, you endanger your credibility and thus the good relationship.

Generalization

“You’re always doing it all wrong!” Such generalizations are attacks that the person concerned often takes personally. As a rule, they are factually incorrect and serve (consciously or unconsciously) to pee on the other person’s leg. It is easy for many bosses to demonstrate the power and exert pressure in this way. But because there is a lack of clarity, the employee cannot do anything with it and, depending on the type, additionally distances or confronts the personal injury. Not good for the relationship!

Allegations

“Ms. Meier, YOU should have known that!” Accusations in combination with generalizations are particularly common. Such an accusation is quickly said and affects. But the same applies here as with the blame: It does not take both sides in the business one step further, but only burdens the personal relationship.

Don’t make decisions

Many employees complain in my coaching about the fact that their bosses don’t make decisions. “That’s why he’s boss!” I hear a lot. Yes, if nobody in the company makes decisions anymore out of fear of the consequences, then it drives the employees on the lower hierarchical levels especially crazy because they lack the clarity of their work. The result: at some point, they no longer take their managers seriously and the brave among them just do their own thing.

No time for each other

You also know this from private relationships, even if only from friends. Maintaining good relationships takes time. The boss who rushes from meeting to meeting every day and has no more time left for his team runs the risk of damaging the relationship here too. The motto here is “Get out of the day-to-day business!” And actively create space for more time to maintain relationships at work.

The love of money

“Opinions differ on money,” they say. Even if the money in the job is no longer the number one motivator for many employees today, it remains an issue that has a major impact on relationships in working life. The colleague who earns more but works less. The boss who promises the rise but doesn’t implement it. Missed promotion for the third year in a row. Money has a lot to do with a sense of justice, which is very important for collegial relationships.

Poor personal hygiene

A minimum level of hygiene, which is important for most of us for an intimate relationship in a partnership, also plays a major role in our job. Especially where people have to work together in a confined space. In open-plan offices, in medical practices, or a narrow two-person office. Smelly coworkers can be a problem and ruin the relationship. Because many employees are unsure how to deal with it and tend to distance themselves from the stinker than to point it out.

10 tips for good relationships at work

The relationship is the good line between two people. It doesn’t matter whether they get into bed with each other or are just colleagues at work.

Good relationships can cope with a solid argument or an announcement from the boss. Because both sides are clear: We may clash on the matter, but our personal relationship is so strong that it can endure or is even strengthened by it.

However, if the relationship is already cracking, then the slightest prick is often enough to break off contacts, switch to confrontation, do duty at work, or even give notice of termination.

What strengthens the relationship in private life can also be applied to the job. Here are 10 tips that you as a manager and also as an employee can do to maintain a good professional relationship with your boss and colleagues:

Show real interest and the honest signal “You are important to me!”
Create a sense of togetherness between boss and employee or in a team.
Accept weaknesses or mistakes to recognize the positive again.
Clarify mutual expectations and requirements.
Create rules as far as it makes sense and shows consistency in action.
Consciously breakthrough established ways of thinking and behaving.
Try to understand each other’s worldviews, values , and goals.
Take time for each other and also listen actively.
Look for solutions together, if necessary with the participation of neutral third parties.
Don’t lose sight of your own needs and values.

And what to do if the relationship is permanently disrupted? What if the trust is so damaged that one or both sides see no chance of getting the relationship back on its feet? Just as the separation or divorce is a liberating and correct step for many couples in private, the same applies in the job: Better to separate from each other than endure permanently bad relationships.

Monthly Archives: December 2020